Thursday, 25 September 2008
I was walking from the ATM (withdrawing yet more money) and heading to the post office to pay my bills when I received the call. "The client had some complaints about the articles you edited and re-wrote some weeks back. We've looked into it and we have to agree with some of it. Therefore, we can't offer you the job as copywriter...Anna, are you still there?" I was not. My heart was pounding. The noise around me faded into the background. The sun seemed to have lost its shine. WHAT WAS GOING ON? I couldn't understand anything. She continued saying they want to offer me Account Executive instead. I was numb. WHAT? AE? WHAT? There was a thumping in my head. What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? Before I realised, I was making arrangements to have a meeting with her in October to discuss the job specs.
I'm in the post office, seven numbers away and holding my bills. Ina is trying to comfort me. She doesn't understand either. She asks me about the contract. She's gettin upset too. She says sue them. I look at my bills. I look at her. I look at the numbers on the wall. WHAT WAS GOING ON? I still don't understand. I don't know what's going on. What's happening? Does that mean that it was all really too good to be true? Does that mean that I'm not a writer? Does it mean that all these years I've just been lucky that no one spotted how bad I am as a writer? What? What? What? I don't understand.
I'm messaging Eddie. I need to tell him. I want him to comfort me. I want a hug. I feel like crying. I don't know what to do.
I'm back in the office and still trying to make sense of the situation. I look at the papers strewn across my table, waiting for me to write, re-write and edit. But can I? Can I continue? I suck. I'm not a writer. I was just fired as a writer. What?
I open the classifieds.