I don't care

Friday, 9 January 2009 @ 2.33pm

I fear that I am beginning to mentally lose it. I'm tired and getting fed up really quick. I'm releasing my anger on innocent victims and I want to get away from it all.

Last night, at 7.30pm, we had an urgent meeting in the conference room. Me, my superior, the art director and production manager. What for? To rush out 60 pages to be completed, pdf-ed and emailed by 4pm today. It doesn't matter that it was client who delayed the copy by three weeks. It doesn't matter that she denies the fact and is blaming us for only showing her 25 pages in three days (done by ONE person mind you).

All that matters is that she can threaten to take her business elsewhere. Yes, she's our biggest client. But where does she come off delaying the copy and then demanding we finish it in a matter of days? Is she dumb? Incompetent? Stupid? An idiot, I would say. My superior and I have a pure hatred towards her (who the fuck does she think she is calling L and complaining? Talk about, "I'm gonna tell on you" syndrome). So what's our response? Scramble and get the ENTIRE agency to work on this one fucking piece. Oh, how much did we charge this bitch? A mere RM5k. Is it worth it? No fucking way. And whose problem is it? Yours truly.

To top it off, I had a birthday dinner to attend last night. And Eddie had said he would go with me since he finishes work early. Did he remember? No. When I called, what did he do? Hold the phone to his ear for a good few seconds joking with his staff. What did I do? Hang up on him. Did he bother to call back? No, of course not. Since when had men ever been sensitive to their girlfriend's needs?

It was near 8pm and the whole office was going for a "dinner break". Would I like to join? Hell no. I finished whatever I had to do and left. When I drove out, I managed to make the u-turn to my destination, but instead of turning left, I turned right and headed straight for PJ instead. Frank was calling me. I was ignoring it. I just wanted a peace of mind.

I've decided I want to take a break. I will do what I have to do but that's it. I don't want advice. I don't want lectures. I don't want words of wisdom. I would just like to take a break. I want to sleep. I want to get out of bed with a purpose.

This morning, I forced myself out of bed at 8.50am. And I didn't care. I don't care that I'm late for work everyday. I don't care that I go back down to get breakfast once I reach work. I don't care that I don't eat lunch. I don't care that I do only what I have to instead of more than I really should here. I just don't care anymore.