I Choose Life

Wednesday, 28 January 2009 @ 11.49am

Life's a rollercoaster ride right? There are ups and downs and you can't really control it once you're going through it now can you?

Friday, 23 January 2009

9.30am

I swiped my access card to open the office door. My phone is ringing in my handbag. Pushing the door open while fumbling for my phone, I balance my breakfast in my other hand. It's Eddie.

E: "Yang, kita kena balik kampung. Atuk dah meninggal."

11am

I'm sitting in the car at the back of Pavilion. I'd gone home to change into my baju kurung and packed extra clothes. I'd already been here for fifteen minutes. Eddie had to wait till another Assistant Manager can come in to cover him.

2pm

We reached the masjid near his parents house in Teluk Intan just as all the men were walking out. Friday prayers had just finished. We saw the van at the entrance of the masjid waiting to transport Atuk's body. Eddie ran out. I drove Lily back to his home. Umie was sitting at the front with other relatives. A look of sadness and gladness came over her when she saw me walking towards the house.

3pm

I reached the graveyard with Eddie's three sisters. Eddie, Ayah, Paklong and Pak Mamat were already there. Before the burial, everyone was given one last chance to say goodbye. After Eddie's turn, I saw him quickly walk away, wiping the tears from his eyes.

7.30pm

Eddie's sister and I got carried away chit chatting in the room that we didn't realise everyone else was already gathered outside to pray. We quickly took turns taking our air sembahyang and joined them. Eddie stood in front of me. This was the first time we'd prayed together.

Saturday, 24 January 2009

It was our one-year anniversary. Ijah and I were still sleeping in the back room at 8am when Eddie opened the door and said, "anak dara ni dah melampau tidur! Ha... kalau ikut style Ayah... tutup kipas..." and he switched off the fan and left laughing. I got up first to shower while Ijah continued rolling around in bed.

After breakfast, we went to Sungai Besar. Eddie, myself, and all five of his siblings (including his sister's husband) were there to look for fabric and baju kurung/kebaya. Eddie and I had originally planned on dinner at the restaurant where we met to celebrate our anniversary. But under the circumstances, we spent the day with his family instead and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way either :)

26 January 2009

Gong xi fa cai. The first day of Chinese New Year was also the first time in two years that Get Crafty was closed. This also meant that this was the first time that we were all able to gather in the day time outside of Great Eastern Mall! When we first found out that we would be closing, I suggested a picnic and kite flying, which is exactly what we did!

The grass was green and the blue sky was endless. All the Get Crafty crew had gathered, each bringing an item to share for our 'potluck picnic'. The only thing missing for me was Eddie, who had to go back to Teluk Intan for the day.

I had never flown a kite, but had always wondered how it was done. Turns out... wasn't so hard after all. Just feeling the wind against my skin and looking up at the clear blue sky as my Ultraman/Power Ranger kite (ahahahah) blew against the wind made me smile. Laughter and shrieks of delight accompanied us that day as none of us had ever flown a kite.

Zaza arrived an hour and a half later with Am and her baby python, Violet. She'd brought one of her other snakes before to Get Crafty. But it was a thin and tiny little fella that I didn't have the guts to even touch. Feeling liberated, I quickly put my kite aside and said, "I wanna hold it! I wanna hold it!" Screaming in absolute fear as Violet slithered against my hands, I managed to take one nice photo where I wasn't screaming for my life.

Returning back to our spot where our drinks and leftover food awaited us, I immediately started jumping and declaring to the whole group, "Nak naik train! Nak naik train!" It was actually a 'bus' that would take us on a half-hour ride around the whole park. Iqbal was smiling as he saw me jump like a little kid. I grabbed his arm and led him to the very front of the 'train'. All aboard! All 12 of us sat and enjoyed the train ride :)


I never saw myself as someone who'd enjoy kampung life. Or someone who'd enjoy being out in the sun flying a kite and running along the park. I always had this perception that I'm a primp little princess who needs her shaded areas and air-conditioned areas and cool drinks and proper seats and luxurious meals.

I discovered that what I want is the simple things in life. I want to relax on my days off work. I wanna play in the sun. I wanna get dirty in the mud and sit on the ground as we pray for arwah Atuk. I wanna enjoy the sun instead of spending hours in the shaded air-conditioned areas. And I want open air places that's not surrounded by high-rise buildings.

This doesn't mean that I want to abandon the city and move to the kampung. This means that when I do get the rare day off... I wanna enjoy it in the sun. I wanna play like a kid and pretend I'm a tourist in my own country. Because frankly, I didn't feel like I was in KL when I was playing in that park.

I realised something too. After fun in the sun, we went to Sunway Pyramid to go bowling. Reaching there, I immediately lost interest. I didn't like the crowd. I didn't like the covered area when I had just experienced hours in the sun (I already spend hours everyday in an office...why would I want to spend many more hours in a closed-up, windowless area on my day off?).

I decided that I want to spend my time outdoors. I want to enjoy and appreciate the other parts of the city I live in and explore whatever else it has to offer me. When I have children, I want to take them outside. I want to go for picnics. I want to see them playing kites. I want them to enjoy the sun too. I don't want them to spend their days in a shopping mall whenever they have a school holiday. I don't want them to be cooped up at home just watching TV. I want them to always try something new. To learn to enjoy the simple things in life. And to spend their days laughing. I want them to choose life.