My Past: I Used to...

Tuesday, 3 February 2009 @ 7.47pm

I used to be a quiet introvert who would not dare to utter a single word
Once during my first few months in Melbourne, I remember standing outside the classroom with a couple of my classmates waiting for the other class to finish - one of my classmates said to me, "don't just stand there like a fly on the wall. Say something."

I used to be lonely...
When I was in Melbourne, I didn't have many friends. I had a small group of three and I loved and cherised all our moments together

I used to suffer panic attacks
It started at the end of high school and during the first few years of uni. I was confused and didn't have proper guidance. I felt like I was just dumped in Melbourne (which actually turned out to be a good thing)

I used to take public transport everywhere
Only in Melbourne of course. I can't even go from my car to the front entrance in KL without being howled at. Idiots.

I used to be a victim of racism
There are plenty of examples that I can give you that has happened to me. Spat on, verbally attacked, things thrown at me... but I don't (and I didn't) want to upset people who care about me. So I choose to keep these awful memories to myself.

I used to be so extremely unhappy in my first year alone at Melbourne that I ate ice cream and cried every night
When I entered MIBT, things changed and I discovered that crying gets you nowhere.

I used to study day and night to get my Diploma
And I did and it was sweet.

I used to study and write and brainstorm and discuss and argue with fellow classmates and even my lecturers to get my Degree
And when it was graduation, I finally understood why people feel so overwhelmed and relieved.

I used to think I was a dark, ugly, horrible-looking child.
Then I decided to make the best with what I had and I think I turned out quite alright ;P

I used to take the bus to Sydney to see someone.
And there were so many experiences during each and every single ride that I don't regret one bit.

I used to be terrified of driving.
Now I think I'm one of those drivers that other L and P students are terrified of.

I used to like Backstreet Boys.
Yes, I admit. I was a HUGE fan. I'm not ashamed to own up to it anymore.

I used to think that I'd grow up to be a teacher.
And I sort of did. Part time anyway :)

I used to think I was wasting my time when I learned how to converse with my father's friends, associates and staff.
But now, because of that practice, I'm making a living out of handling different types of people.