Tuesday, 25 November 2008 @ 12.50pm
Thursday, 20 November 2008
It was 7pm and I was still in the office. Traffic wasn't letting up. I was standing by the office window looking at the row of red lights barely moving. I had to use that road. I had an appointment with Kostari. At 7.30pm, I decided to brave traffic thinking it wouldn't be so bad.
At 9.45pm, I was still in the car. I hadn't moved in 20 minutes. I'd miss a turning, which led me to sitting in heavy traffic, all wanting to make a U-turn as well. My mood had changed. I was late and people were waiting for me. I hate being late and I hate when people have to wait for me. I find it rude. My phone kept ringing but I was ignoring it. The last time I picked it up it was Mrs Moore. She was concerned about me. I was swearing at her. So I decided not to answer any calls till I reached the office. Mrs N also tried to call. I ignored her too.
I reached at 10.20pm. My back was aching. My knee was numb and I wasn't in the mood to play nice. Mrs Moore was there to greet me at the elevator but I was being mean. My mood was still sour. When I walked in the office, Mrs N immediately launched into a ramble of words, "poor thing.", "We bought you dinner.", "Eat first." I put my things down and said, "let's get started."
The meeting ended at 11.15pm. Mrs N's husband was calling, refusing to eat dinner till she got home. Mr and Mrs Moore and I had planned to watch a movie. I was starting to smile. Especially when Eddie said he was finishing work at 11.30pm and he could join us.
We reached Pavilion at 11.45pm. Eddie was sitting at the bar at Michelangelo's, across from where I'd first met him. His helmet sat beside him. He was having his dinner. Poor baby. During the movie, things started to get a little tense between Eddie and I. I wanted attention and he was too tired to give me any. We ended up going our separate ways afterwards. My mood turned sour again as I drove home.
Friday, 21 November 2008
I'd just reached home from work at about 8pm. I'd eaten and showered, and was setting up my laptop in the hopes of starting the presentation for Kostari. Papa wanted to have a talk. I'd been keeping silent for a while now. I figured it's the same. And guess what? It is. In Ina's words, "kalau diam, dia orang cakap kau melawan. Kalau menjawab, dia orang panggil kau biadap." (If you keep quiet, they say you're rebelling. If you answer back, you're rude.)
After my discussion with Papa, I couldn't think. I'd had an extremely long and tiring day at work and was just about to start Kostari. I could feel the anger building up. This shit again?
Eddie was working - he was doing closing again. In almost a daze, I changed my clothes. Took my car keys and drove. I didn't know where I was going. I didn't have a destination. So I just drove. I needed to clear my mind. Earlier in the day I'd already started feeling the tension in my shoulders. Boy, was I wrong when I thought I could work at home.
I drove aimlessly around KL for about an hour and a half. I ended up parked at the side of the road near a night market. And I just stared out the window for a while more. Ina was sms-ing me. Telling me to calm down, and go home. It was stupid and dangerous for me to be out and about alone at that time of night on a Friday. But I couldn't take it anymore. There's never any fucking peace.
They're rejecting Eddie on the basis that...what? I don't know. You tell me. That he's only AM in Dome? That his English is not good? That he's from a kampung? What? What? What? Did they give him a chance? Not even fucking once. Did they remember that they were once like him too? Finding their way in life? Making a life for themselves? A degree doesn't equal happiness and prosperity. You should know that.
No. Ayah has been wanting to meet Papa. He's invited Papa to Ima's wedding. I just haven't given the card. But they're going to have to meet one day right? But since I'm the youngest, my decisions are always wrong. I never know what I'm talking about. I can't think for myself. There's always someone there to brainwash me. I kena bomoh. For fuck's sake la. Please. Open your fucking mind and try to accept that there's a possibility that I can think for myself and I know what I'm doing. People make mistakes. But I learn from my mistakes. It's the ones who think they're right and repeat their mistakes that you should worry about.
Saturday, 22 November 2008
There was a birthday party at 10am. I got ready and left the house. Working at Get Crafty always seems to make me relaxed. Even though there are kids and parents to deal with, the atmosphere and the people I work with make me want to go back without any qualms. I arrived at 9.30am and saw Iqbal pasting the 'Happy Birthday' sign on the window. His face lit up, "Finally! Someone to talk to! I've been alone for half an hour!" First smile of the day.
As head CSR of the day, I dealt mostly with parents signing in and helping children choose a craft to make. I only taught about six kids during the birthday party. And the rest of the day was signing up , promoting Get Crafty and playing with the teachers. It was a good day. I managed to sign up 15 new kids :)
At about 5 or 6pm that day, I was just about to start taking down the 'Happy Birthday' sign when someone came up to me and started pulling down the sign. A little scream came out and I realised it was Mr and Mrs Moore. Another smile for the day.
Sunday, 22 November 2008
I met Eddie for breakfast that morning. I was starting work at 11am. He starts at 12.30pm. The sms I received that morning upset him. He was jealous. He should be. He knows why. Things were patched up. Sometimes a little bit of jealousy goes a long way.
This day ended with a pounding migraine. I drove home at 12.30am that night wearing sunglasses. Haha. First laugh of today.
NOTE: If everything I write in my blog hurts your feelings, stop reading it.