Tuesday, 31 March 2009 @ 5.21pm
It’s been a tough and trying couple of months. But in those months, it’s also been one of the most joyful times of my life. On the one hand, I’ve been battling some inner demons on some very crucial career choices. I contemplated throwing away stability of cash and benefits for pleasure. On the other hand, I’ve taken my personal choices to the next step. My career has been somewhat stable, and I feel ready. Eddie’s family are more than happy with me (up to the point where they contact me instead of contacting him for anything). And I feel sure of Eddie. I know. It feels right.
Making the transition of Editor to Account Executive was a little tough for me. It took a lot of time for me to accept that I was no longer an Editor. Only recently had I fully embraced the job role of an AE. And everyone else who saw my potential as an AE was right. I am damn good at my job. But… working at an advertising agency comes at a price. There’s no such thing as finishing work on time or when the sun is still up. There’s been A LOT of stress added on nowadays. Clients, bosses, designers, copywriters, art directors and admin (chasing me for cheques) during working hours, then everyone else after (and sometimes during) working hours about the engagement and the wedding. I couldn’t breathe.
I tried quitting once, but they wouldn’t let me go. I tried quitting again. They still wouldn’t let me go. But the difference this time is they asked what I wanted. I said four working days. I told them this job is taking a toll on me and working till 10pm or 2am frequently is not doing me any good. My wish was granted.
However, something struck me as strange. After they granted me my request, my big boss, L, was discussing a job with me. It was then that he also said that I am modern and aggressive. My other boss at Get Crafty has mentioned a number of times that I get the sales up because I am aggressive.
At dinner last night, I asked Eddie to describe what he thinks of me. His reply was, “You lemah lembut. Sebijik macam Mak Long. You’re caring, and loving…”
Then I asked him if he’s seen me at work. He said, yes, at Get Crafty, but not for a full day. Only for the short span of time whenever he comes visit me. He tells me that my bosses probably call me aggressive because that’s what my working attitude is like. I know what I want and what I have to do and I go for it.
And now I’m wondering…since I’ve tried quitting twice and they’re not letting me go, will they ever let me go if I really want to leave? Hmm…maybe I never really wanted to leave here. I admit the first time I quit it was done purely because I was in a very emotional state. But the second time, I was willing to take the chances. I had a back up plan. Not a solid back up plan, but one nonetheless. Will I be aggressive enough in talking them to let me go if ever I really want to leave?