Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Happiness = impracticality. Misery = money.

Wednesday, 11 March @ 12.45am

Are you the one there every day?
Are you the one who has to face the bullshit everyday?
Are you the one who has to lie everyday?
Are you the one who sometimes goes into the bathroom just to cry?
Are you the one who feels useless and unproductive?

No, I may not have worked as long as you have.
No, I may not have as much life experience as you have.
No, I may not be as 'professional' as you want me to be.

But...
When are you going to LISTEN?
When are you going to HEAR?
When are you going to UNDERSTAND?

I'm trying the best that I can.
I'm working as hard as I can.

I would like for you to LEARN to TRUST me.
I would like for you to LEARN to TRY and SUPPORT my decisions.

But...

I know you never will.
I know you think I'm childish.
I know you think I'm young.
I know you think I'm fresh and raw.
I know you think I'm too emotional.

But...

Are you the one who stays till late?
Are you the one who goes into office at 1.30am, leaves at 3am and then has to go for a meeting across town at 9am?
Are you the one who has to stay late night after night?
Are you the one who has to sell and lie?
Are you the one who feels dirty when you come home?
Are you the one who scrubs and cries in the shower hoping to feel 'clean'?


What's the point?

Things never change.

It's all so predictable.

Don't you worry. I won't burden you for long. I'll work three jobs if I have to. I won't sleep if that's what it takes.

Tell me it's wrong to follow my heart.
Tell me I'm dumb for doing something to 'please'.
Tell me again I'm not being practical.

I don't understand.
I don't get it.

You would rather have me stay miserable.
You would rather have me lie.
You would rather allow me to be unhappy...
...because you don't think it's not important.

And that's the problem.

That's always been the problem.

Put your feelings aside.
Work comes first.
Think about the principles.
Use your head. Not your heart.

Thanks for not supporting me again.
Thanks for making me feel alone.
Thanks for assuming and then not believing what I have to say.
Thanks for punishing me for having any sort of feelings.
Thanks for making it that much more difficult.

I've never had your support anyway...

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