Friday, 6 March 2009 @ 10.20am
The Creative Group Head here, V, sometimes pulls me aside for a chat. She wants to know how I’m doing. And ask whether I’ve learnt anything. She also asks me if I’ve ‘grown at Mega’. The first two times she asked me, I said that I’m learning and I’m still trying to get the hang of things. But that’s because the first two times she asked me, I ‘d only been working for a few weeks and about a month and a half respectively.
Two days ago, V and I were sitting in a client’s waiting room preparing for a presentation. And she asked me again, “Anna, do you think you’ve grown?” Without thinking, I answered, “no”. Before she could continue, L and N had walked in. She looked at me and said in a hush tone, “Come and talk to me if you need to.”
I’ve been thinking a lot about my aspects at this job. And no, I haven’t grown. And I don’t think I have room to grow. I came and I died here. When I was at Trix, I started off a little shaky, which is understandable since it was my very first job. But once I got the hang of things, I was allowed to try new things. So I did. I challenged designers with designs. I brainstormed with the Art Director on different designs and possibilities and made sure that there were always the best options. I learned that designers get very defensive over their work and you should never implicate that their work is a waste of time. I learnt to handle different kinds of designers. There was the one who would take days to finish a few spreads, but when he did, it turned out awesome. And the one who would take days to amend a few words, and that was just to piss me off. But I learnt how to pujuk her into doing work for me. And there was the one whose emotions would take over her perspective (you always knew when it was her time of month).
At Trix, I was hired as an Editor but I learnt to do more than that. I learned to negotiate with designers. I learned to handle clients. So much so that my bosses there saw there was no need to have an AE. I would take over that role. And I did it well. I was so happy there. And I felt so productive. I always had ideas and my bosses always backed me up. I could always go and talk to them whenever I had a problem. And if I was ever swamped with work, they would help me by allowing me to delegate work.
Here…there’s no room to grow. No place to be. I’m just there. At Trix, I felt that I did the best that I could and more. I always gave 110%. I was always passionate over every single article or image or account I was handling. Here…I try to do something creatively, and I’m brushed off. I’m just an AE here. That’s it. Nothing more. Nothing less.
Maybe I’m trying to find more reasons to justify why I’m leaving. Or maybe I just miss Trix. I dunno. What I do know is…I really cannot make it here anymore. I’m trying to find reason to stay. But there aren’t any. Maybe one. Money. But is money really worth the misery?