Tuesday, 10 March 2009 @ 7.45pm
Half an hour ago, I just tried to quit my job. The letter was prepared, printed, signed and folded. My boss, N, asked me to come and help her with something. I thought, perfect timing! I took the letter, hid it behind my back and stood next to her while looking at her computer. What happened next truly surprised me:
A: "N*****, I don't think I can stay here any longer."
N (with a completely horrified look on her face): "Why?!?"
A: "I just don't feel right for the job."
N: "But you've been so good at it."
A: "I know I can do the job. It just... doesn't feel right. I don't feel very productive here. I used to give 150% at my last job. Here...I feel like half of me is gone already."
N: "But there's so much more for you to do here. Why? Do you feel like you've lost control?"
A: "Yes. I used to be involved every step of the way. From the brief, to the brainstorming, to the finished product. Here, after I brief...I get the almost finished product. I've missed those steps. I just don't feel very productive."
N goes on to explain to me that there's so much more for me to do here. And that she's got so much more in store for me. She has already planned for me to take on more jobs and this and that. She keeps asking me why. I keep telling her I'm not productive. And that I'm only giving 70%. She tells me I'm crazy. While laughing, says, "what kind of species do I have here? Got copywriter and designer but still want to do the job!"
I'm in a dilemma. I've already told A and my boss at Get Crafty that I plan to quit and that I'll join full-time. A and my boss had a meeting today about my position. Of course, salary would be a lot less then what I'm getting here. But that begs the question: is happiness more important than money? Or should money dictate your happiness?
I don't know what to do. It'll definitely be easier to stay if I think about it. I'll be able to pay for my car, phone, insurance, credit card, parking and petrol and still have money left over. If I worked at Get Crafty, I'd struggle a bit, but I won't need to worry about parking or petrol. I won't even need to drive if I don't want to. And I won't be using my phone so much.
But...if I really plan to get married...I'd need that extra cash. It will definitely come in handy. Eddie and I put our salary together every month now and we're happy bunnies with our joint amount. If I quit...we'll still be ok... just not as happy as we would be if I stayed.
Sigh. What to do? What to do? What to do?