Thursday, 30 October 2008 @ 10.57am
There are two things that I want to rant about now. The first involves personal feelings that I have been confused about in the last few weeks. And the second is the stupidest move that I have ever made in my 24 years of existence.
I don't know why I feel this way. I don't understand it. You're there. Then you're not there. I'm with you but I feel alone. What the fuck is going on? It's hard enough to see you and when I do I don't see the point of it at all. WTF? WTF? WTF? Why bother meeting if it's just for you to read the paper and me a magazine? Or to watch TV and play games? We were supposed to have that talk. Have you forgotten? You'll never know how I feel because you never read this blog. And I'll never tell you how I feel because I'm fed up of being the one who initiates conversations.
You're pushing me away. And you'll never know that. There's someone else giving me more attention than you. But you'll never see. I'll never do anything to betray you but I feel like I already am. I cannot feel this way anymore. I won't tell you I wrote this. If you never read this, then you'll never know.
A Stupid Move
So I forgot that Palembang is in Indonesia. I'd already bought the ticket for Andre's wedding in July. Little did I realise that the day I purchased the ticket was also the day that my passport expired. No worries right? There's plenty of time to re-new it. Problem is, the flight is this Saturday and it didn't even occur to me that I would need my passport. It was only by a chance conversation that I was having with my father in the car that went something like this:
Papa (P): "So when are you going to Palembang?"
Me (M): "This Saturday."
P: "When are you going to Singapore?"
P: "Have you checked your passport? Make sure it's not expired."
M (frowning in confusion): "I'm going to Singapore in January. I've got plenty more time to worry about my passport."
P: "Hey! If you're going to Palembang this Saturday, make sure that your passport is not expired. If not, how are you going to fly out?"
I was silent. My brain was slowly beginning to understand. Palembang. Indonesia. Out of country. OH. It was only then that I got it. I need a passport to fly out to Palembang. Papa was still nagging to me about the passport. Ooopsss...sorry Andre!
So the point is...I'm not going to Palembang this weekend after all. Quatro anyone?