I used to have strength. I used to feel confident. I used to laugh out loud. And I used to look forward to tomorrow. I've never felt weaker, more useless, lonely and sad in my life. I have this piece of paper on my wall that says:
When you feel blue, remember...
There are at least two people in this world that you would die for (I used to think it was worth it)
At least 15 people in this world love you in some way (Name me two)
The only reason anyone would hate you is because they want to be just like you (yeah right...)
A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you (I don't remember the last time I smiled)
Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep (Name me one)
You mean the world to someone (doesn't feel like it)
You are special and unique (I used to think so)
Someone that you don't even know exists loves you (introduce me to that person please, I really need it now)
When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it (and then the bad things starts all over again...)
When you think the world has turned its back on you, take another look (no thanks)
Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks (what good is it going to do me now?)
I always say life goes up and down. When you're up, you feel like you're never coming down. And when you're down...wow, you really go down. I used to always feel confident and content because I would always have ONE thing in my life that keeps me going. I have never been in a situation where NOTHING is right. Before, when Calvin was an asshole, I had friends. Or when family was being shitty, I had work. Now...work is uncertain. Money is never enough. Family is constantly bickering. Friends are busy with their own thing and Eddie's work schedule SUCKS.
I used to read that and smile because I either had an answer after each one or I would agree with it. Now, I just turn away...