Wednesday, December 17, 2008

A Sacrifice

Wednesday, 17 December 2008 @ 9.40pm

When we were children, we expected and demanded attention from our parents. When we were teenagers, we then expected attention from our friends. When we become adults, we start expecting attention from the one whom we've chosen to be with.

But what if this person is so intent in marrying you that he's focusing all his time and energy into work? Even if that means working overtime, working all the time, working anytime? Even if it means I never get to see him? Or we only get to meet when there's a pre-determined ocassion? Or if we do meet it's in the company of 25 other people? Or at his work place? Or mine?

What if you're so intent too that you spend all your time working too? To make enough money to survive. To make enough money to save. To make enough money to be 'happy'. What if you're both so focused on the future that you're neglecting the present? Is now important? Should we spend all this time focusing on the future? How are we going to have a future if our foundations now are not being looked after?

I've had this conversation. Too many times. I finally had a realisation tonight. And I've decided to stick to it. After all, love is a sacrifice isn't it?

A few questions that I need to know
how you could ever hurt me so
I need to know what I've done wrong
and how long it's been going on
Was it that I never paid enough attention?
Or did I not give enough affection?
Not only will your answers keep me sane
but I'll know never to make the same mistake again
You can tell me to my face
or even on the phone
You can write it in a letter, either way, I have to know
Did I never treat you right?
Did I always start the fight?
Either way, I'm going out of my mind
all the answers to my questionsI have to find
My head's spinning
Boy, I'm in a daze
I feel isolated
Don't wanna communicate
I'll take a shower,
I will scour
I will rub
To find peace of mind
The happy mind I once owned, yeah
Flexing vocabulary runs right through me
The alphabet runs right from A to Zed
Conversations, hesitations in my mind
You got my conscience asking questions that I can't find
I'm not crazy
I'm sure I ain't done nothing wrong, no
I'm just waiting
'Cause I heard that this feeling won't last that long
Never ever have I ever felt so low
When you gonna take me out of this black hole?
Never ever have I ever felt so sad
The way I'm feeling yeah, you got me feeling really bad
Never ever have I had to find
I've had to dig away to find my own peace of mind
I've Never ever had my conscience to fight
The way I'm feeling, yeah, I just don't feel right
I'll keep searching
Deep within my soul
For all the answers
Don't wanna hurt no more
I need peace, got to feel at ease
Need to be.
Free from pain - going insane
My heart aches, yeah
Sometimes vocabulary runs through my head
The alphabet runs right from A to Zed
Conversations, hesitations in my mind
You got my conscience asking questions that I can't find
I'm not crazy, I'm sure I ain't done nothing wrong
I'm just waiting'
Cause I heard that this feeling won't last that long
Never ever have I ever felt so low
When ya gonna take me out of this black hole?
Never ever have I ever felt so sad
The way I'm feeling yeah, you got me feeling really bad
Never ever have I had to find
I've had to dig away to find my own peace of mind
I've Never ever had my conscience to fight
The way I'm feeling, yeah, I just don't feel right
You can tell me to my face,
You can tell me on the phone,
Uh, You can write it in a letter, babe
'Cause I really need to know
You can write it in a letter, babe
You can write it in a letter, babe
'Never Ever' by All Saints

5 comments:

Ms Martha Moore said...

awww.....

another emotional entry by anna r....

I understand that situation.... huhuhu....

fasumb

anna r said...

yes, anna r is very emotional nowadays kan?

but what to do? i think i'm emotional cause i'm tired. i need to quit one of my jobs or take a break from all three...

lawsvasy

Mr Wordless said...

we all face dark hours in our life, in any form emotional breakdown, physical breakdown, financial breakdown, even worse all three...
but as the saying goes, we will face the dawn of it and soon it will all go away and things that won't kill you will only make u stronger.
thinking too much and working too much makes a human body fatigue.. hence the emotional moment...
whatever it is, those are the things that make us human... don't fret, it will pass and u will survive and be much much much better there who u are now (and i will love u no matter what)

u keep your head high and faith strong in ur loved ones and to urself...

because we all have faith in u

go sista go!

p/s i love that song... seriously... one of the best song from all saints...

diccrev

Ms Martha Moore said...

mr wordless do have a lot of words actually....

Irony... Irony...

huhuhu.....

damlin

anna r said...

mr wordless, i love it when you have a lot of words, especially = "what doesn't kill you only make you stronger"

i forgot all about that. I don't look at my quotes anymore. I don't read that piece of paper on my wall anymore either. I don't have time to...

but thank you very much for your support.

i just feel extremely tired and on the edge at the moment. and i feel like i'm being pulled from all sides with no one to go to. and now...too long to explain... another day la ha?

and ms martha, i'm sorry i snapped at you earlier and i can't help you on the ROI. 25 thousand apologies...

cousniff